Choosing to Forget (but ever to remember)
by Emiliya Wolfe
Summary: Harry gave Teddy a choice. When he turns 10, he can decide whether or not he wants to go to the Battle of Hogwarts remembrance. But what happens when the day comes if Teddy doesn't want to go?


**QLFC Round 12 Keeper** – **write about a family relationship between Teddy Lupin and Hermione Granger.**

 **Tadjikistan: Teddy Lupin**

 **Showtime** – **(word) remember**

 **Elena of Avalor** – **Write about reconnecting with family.**

 **1835 words.**

 **Thank you to BlueRubyBeat, TheLadyRogue, DobbyRocksSocks and Aya-DeWinter for betaing!**

* * *

'Have you got Lily's milk?'

'Yes.'

'Have you got Al's special blanket?'

'Yes.'

'Have you got -'

'Remember who you're talking to, Harry,' one of his best and oldest friends replied, putting her hand on his shoulder. 'I'm Hermione Granger. The girl who has had a planner since the age of eight. I've got everything ready.'

'Right,' Harry muttered distractedly, glancing around the house as he ran a hand through his hair. 'Right.'

He sighed, looking over their extended family. It was Hermione's turn to give the Battle of Hogwarts commemoration a miss to look after the youngest of the children. Unspoken was the agreement that Hermione would also be looking after Molly – Fred's death hit her particularly hard on this day of the year. Distracting her with baked goods and young children, without making them her sole responsibility, was the only way to alleviate even the smallest part of her pain.

In fact, Molly was probably waiting for them at the Burrow this very minute – they only had fifteen minutes before the Portkey left and the rest of the family was probably already assembled. Hermione and Ron had only come by Grimmauld Place in the first place to help Harry, as Ginny had been away at training early that morning.

'Where's Teddy?' Harry suddenly asked, realising what was missing. He scanned the rooms, before bellowing, 'Teddy!'

'Yeah?' A blue-tufted head popped out of the living room doorway, followed by a pyjama-clad body.

Harry visibly restrained himself from rolling his eyes.

'Teddy, where's your suit? You can't go out like that.'

'Gramma said I could come dressed however I want!' Teddy answered back primly, folding his arms.

"Gramma" was Mrs Weasley, who had been enamoured with the name ever since she first held Teddy in her arms. Andromeda would have died before letting Teddy call her anything of the sort.

'You're not going to Gramma's, Teddy. You know that. Go on, we're going to be late,' Harry sighed as the inevitable tug came at his trousers.

'Daddy, can I go in pyjamas?' James asked in all seriousness.

'No, Jamie,' Harry said, closing his eyes in frustration as Teddy refused to move. 'Teddy, just go and get your suit. Please.'

'No! I'm not going, and that's it. You said I could choose.' Teddy stamped his foot on the ground to prove his point.

Harry's patience was wearing thin.

Just then, a hand touched his shoulder. It was Hermione, of course.

'Why don't you go on with Ron and the kids, Harry? I'll talk to Teddy.'

Harry sighed for the third time that morning. It was true that Hermione and Teddy seemed to have a special bond – one that was impossible to explain and yet undeniably there.

'All right,' Harry agreed. 'But remind him that we're leaving in ten minutes.'

* * *

'I'm not going,' Teddy reminded Hermione as soon as Harry and Ron had gone through the Floo, taking the five kids with them. To prove his point, he sat firmly on the bottom step and recrossed his arms, ready to hold on to the bannister if necessary. 'Dad told me I could choose when I was ten. Well, I'm ten and I'm not going.'

Hermione refrained, as Harry would have, from reminding Teddy that Harry was not his biological father. It was needless, and Teddy knew it, deep down.

'Why don't you want to go?' she asked instead, sitting down on the step with him.

Evidently, Teddy was expecting to have to throw a tantrum, because he suddenly blinked, unprepared for the calmness of Hermione's response. He shuffled a little closer to the bannister, just in case it was a trap.

'Why should I?' he asked sullenly, looking at the ground. 'Why should I even care? It's not as though they ever cared about me.'

Hermione's features relaxed as comprehension dawned. It was unusual for Teddy to throw a strop, but she thought she now knew why.

'Teddy, your parents died to protect-'

'To protect me, yeah I've heard it all before,' Teddy said angrily, his face twisting demonically as his hair darkened to a deep blood-red. He got up, ready to stomp up the stairs to his room. 'Aunt Hermione, I thought you were different. But you're exactly like Dad!'

'It's true though, Teddy!' Hermione tried to reason with him, catching his hand as he climbed the stairs, forcing him to turn back to face her.

'No, it's not!' Teddy shouted, and Hermione was surprised to hear his voice break. 'I've heard the story about Dad's parents. They did everything to save him, they died _protecting him._ Me? My _parents_ ,' he spat the word out as if it were soap, 'couldn't wait to be rid of me. I was just a burden, stopping them from having their time of glory. Actually, no, I didn't even stop them. They went to fight at Hogwarts anyway. They _abandoned_ me. As far as I'm concerned, they have nothing to do with me.' His voice quietened as he turned back to walk upstairs, the words so soft that Hermione had to strain to catch them. 'I don't see why I should be forced to give up even a day of my life for those strangers.'

'Teddy,' Hermione started, but the boy broke into a run, racing up the stairs and slamming the door shut, but not before she heard the telltale sound of a sob echo throughout the old manor house. 'Teddy,' she said again, softly, but this time it was for her ears only.

Five minutes later, she was standing next to the door, waiting as Teddy's sobs died down into sniffles. When she deemed that enough time had passed for him to get the brunt of the pain out of his system, she gave a soft knock on the wood.

'Teddy?' she asked. 'May I come in? I promise I won't force you to go.'

There was a short pause, before the door creaked open, a blotchy amber eye peering through the crack.

'Promise?' he asked.

'Pinky swear,' Hermione replied with a smile, proffering up her hand. She had taught Teddy the Muggle saying a long time ago, and he knew that it created the most sacred of bonds among Muggle friends.

A small finger slid through the crack to shake her pinky, before the door opened wide.

'Dad said I could choose,' Teddy said again, but there was no heat to the words this time. He looked up at his aunt in all but blood, his hair turning a pale white. 'Do you think he'll be mad?'

'No, sweetie, I don't,' Hermione replied, pulling the boy into a hug and running a hand through his soft hair until it turned back to his usual blue. 'Harry's just very upset today. He lost a lot of friends – we all did – and he still thinks some of it is his fault.'

'Why would it be his fault?' Teddy asked, wiping his eyes on his sleeve as he raised his head.

Hermione guided him to the glaring orange bed sheets that Ron had gifted Teddy for his birthday. It was a testament to their relationship that she no longer shuddered at the sight. For a moment, they sat there in silence as Hermione tried to find the words.

'Harry thinks that if he had done things differently, then less people would have got hurt,' she said eventually. 'He feels responsible for everyone.'

'But he was only a bit older than me!' Teddy pointed out, aghast.

'Yes,' Hermione agreed, a smile tugging at her lips at this act of outrage. 'But Harry has a big heart.'

Another silence permeated the air. Teddy's face scrunched up, his mouth turning down into a pout as he picked at a broom on his covers until the thread came loose. Hermione physically restrained her hand from slapping Teddy's away, consoling herself that it was easily repaired with magic.

'I wish Harry was my real dad,' he muttered eventually, longing evident in his voice.

'Teddy,' Hermione said sharply, startling the boy. 'You shouldn't think that. You shouldn't ever think that.'

'Why not? My parents didn't care about me,' he replied unhappily.

'Let me tell you a story, Teddy, about my own parents,' Hermione replied, feeling like a girl again, revealing her deepest, most shameful secrets. But, something, somehow, told her that this was what Teddy needed. 'You know that they're Muggles. But what you don't know, is that after my first year, I only went to see my parents once for Christmas until the end of the war. What you don't know is that I spent most of my summers here, or at The Burrow. What you don't know… What you don't know is that I made my parents forget about me.'

'They wouldn't forget you. Even if you stopped coming, they'd never forget about you. That's what Gramma would say,' Teddy replied knowledgeably, patting Hermione on the arm.

Hermione paused, suddenly overcome with emotion at this ten-year-old who forgot all of his worries to try to comfort someone in need. Her eyes filling with tears, she impulsively pulled Teddy to her side, wrapping an arm around him as he proffered her one of his mostly clean tissues.

'But you see, Teddy,' she continued, her voice only wavering slightly, 'they did forget about me. They forgot about me completely, because I made them forget. With… with a spell. And it was a long, long time before I found them again. But I didn't do it because I didn't care about them. I did it because I cared _too much_. I couldn't bear for them to be hurt during the war, but at the same time, I couldn't ignore the war, because then who would be fighting the people who wanted to hurt them? Do you see what I mean?'

'So… My real mum and dad didn't abandon me, they just didn't want me to be hurt?' Teddy asked, biting his lips in concentration.

'That's it,' Hermione said, relieved to have found a way to get through to him.

'But how come Harry's parents stayed with him?' he asked again, puzzled.

'Because, Teddy, the bad wizards wanted to hurt Harry, _just_ Harry. They knew that the baddies would come for Harry if they left him alone. But Professor... Remus and Tonks… They knew that the baddies would leave you alone and would come after them. But they loved you, so much.'

'I…' Teddy started, before falling silent. 'Do you think my real parents would be sad if I didn't come to the ceremony?'

'I think your real parents would be sad if you didn't love them,' Hermione replied truthfully. 'But I think they would understand if you were still angry. It took my parents a long time to forgive me.'

'Good,' Teddy replied, his face solemn. 'Do you think there's time to ask Harry if he can say hello for me?'

'Of course, Teddy,' Hermione replied. 'It's never too late to say hello.'


End file.
